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31 Jan 2011

Ashley goes for the Jugular


Mike Ashley is taking Newcastle United apart piece by piece with a little help from his friend, Derick "dickhead" Lameass. Andy Carroll has been in the papers again and again this season and now finds himself the centre of controversy on Tyneside. Spurs had put in offers for the lanky striker - 'Arry Redknapp was prepared to pay £25m - but it seems Mike Cashley was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of a bidding war for the young Geordie. Ashley played his cards early on in this deal' Pardew was all part of the plan and Ashley has been bluffing ever since. Pardew said one of the condition of his arrival was a no Carroll sale. Carroll has said time and time again that he loves Newcastle and wants to stay. Why would he go to Houghton and ask for the number 9 shirt if he was wanting out? Pardew is a puppet on a string and will happily lap up the shite that constantly leaks from Mike Cashley's mouth as well as the dickhead that sits with him at the game.

Andy Carroll is a quality player and will always attract interest but do we need to sell him? Even at £35 million we don't. Carroll, a young Geordie lad with his career ahead of him, can attract players to the club. He can also sell shirts, put bums on seats and fire us up the Prem or at least keep us in it . £35 million to me sound like a bargain for Liverpool.

Why then is this bad business? Because Andy Carroll never wanted to leave. He never put a transfer request in. It was all a ploy, a game, a bluff, by Cashley. You see, if Ashley sells Carroll it will be deemed by the Toon Army as another last straw. But if he lets people believe he tried till the last minute to keep Carroll out the clutches of the Scousers then Geordies will then believe the rubbish about a transfer request being handed in. It's codswallop, absolute shite and are we really surprised? NO. How can it be true? Why would Ashley rebuff offers from Liverpool. Well, one so he looks good to the fans and secondly, he gets a better offer for more gambling money. Mike Ashley has been banding Carroll around the Premiership for the last week or so. What the hell does he think he is doing if he thinks he can pull the wool over our eyes? Why would he now suddenly have a change of heart? Why would he want Carroll to stay when he can recoup money he lost because he did not do his homework on the clubs finances when he bought out the Halls and Shepard? Mike Ashley must be laughing his arse off behind the scenes.

What else has happened in the past few years? Well, he gets rid of Allardyce and brings home Kevin Kegan but things go bad when Wise comes in and starts interfering. Ashley then sells Milner despite assurances to the manager that he would be staying. Keegan then leaves and Newcastles bring in none other that Joe Fucking Kinnear. Massive demonstrations are short lived and everyone forgets very quickly. After Kinnear has another heart attack, Houghton takes over again till Shearer is sweet talked into the manager's job but it's not good enough and we go down. This may have been a plot by Ashley to offload the bigger earners. That's what happens but he goes back on his word about giving Shearer the job. People got pissed off and gates were down about 10,000. During this time, as if relegation is not enough, he changes the name of our beloved ground and expects us all to still go to the games. However, out of all this despair, there was a silver lining. Chris Houghton, who became the manager by default, blows everyone away by getting us promotion first time of asking and with time to spare.


When promotion came, people ceased being angry with Cashley until he made yet another howler by getting rid of the man who put up with his crap for so long and at the same time managed to strengthen the club's financial position. Cashley brings in a man with a hole up his arse, large enough for Ashley's hand to fit right up to the neck. The first garbled crap that comes out of Pardew's puppet mouth is that Carroll will not be sold as it was part of the terms of him joining NUFC. Hahahahaha what a load of bullshit. Pardew would have been told that Carroll was to go and that he would get a small amount to fuck around with. All he needed to do was to just tell the Geordies anything as they will believe him and even if they didn't, they would just forget in a couple of weeks.

Chris' sacking caused uproar on Tyneside and in football in general. Everyone had a renewed hatred for Ashley and Lameass but somehow the gate goes up even though our home form is terrible and Ashley has once again shat on us from a great height. So come on, try and convince me that Ashley wanted to keep Carroll. No chance, no fucking chance. He has been eyeing up this move since the Championship. His philosophy is not to copy Arsenal by nurturing young talent and build a great team. His philosophy is, "I fucked up and I want my money back and while I do this I am going to fuck every Geordie up the arse as hard as I possibly can and as many times as I can".

So please, do us all a favour. No more petitions, no more bedsheets and no more half arsed protests outside St James' Park. Just stop going; that will hurt Cashley the most.

He will not stop so someone has to.

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