Ashley goes for the Jugular

Mike Ashley is taking Newcastle United apart piece by piece with a little help from his friend, Derick "dickhead" Lameass. Andy Carroll has been in the papers again and again this season and now finds himself the centre of controversy on Tyneside. Spurs had put in offers for the lanky striker - 'Arry Redknapp was prepared to pay £25m - but it seems Mike Cashley was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of a bidding war for the young Geordie. Ashley played his cards early on in this deal' Pardew was all part of the plan and Ashley has been bluffing ever since. Pardew said one of the condition of his arrival was a no Carroll sale. Carroll has said time and time again that he loves Newcastle and wants to stay. Why would he go to Houghton and ask for the number 9 shirt if he was wanting out? Pardew is a puppet on a string and will happily lap up the shite that constantly leaks from Mike Cashley's mouth as well as the dickhead that sits with him at the game.

Andy Carroll is a quality player and will always attract interest but do we need to sell him? Even at £35 million we don't. Carroll, a young Geordie lad with his career ahead of him, can attract players to the club. He can also sell shirts, put bums on seats and fire us up the Prem or at least keep us in it . £35 million to me sound like a bargain for Liverpool.

Why then is this bad business? Because Andy Carroll never wanted to leave. He never put a transfer request in. It was all a ploy, a game, a bluff, by Cashley. You see, if Ashley sells Carroll it will be deemed by the Toon Army as another last straw. But if he lets people believe he tried till the last minute to keep Carroll out the clutches of the Scousers then Geordies will then believe the rubbish about a transfer request being handed in. It's codswallop, absolute shite and are we really surprised? NO. How can it be true? Why would Ashley rebuff offers from Liverpool. Well, one so he looks good to the fans and secondly, he gets a better offer for more gambling money. Mike Ashley has been banding Carroll around the Premiership for the last week or so. What the hell does he think he is doing if he thinks he can pull the wool over our eyes? Why would he now suddenly have a change of heart? Why would he want Carroll to stay when he can recoup money he lost because he did not do his homework on the clubs finances when he bought out the Halls and Shepard? Mike Ashley must be laughing his arse off behind the scenes.

What else has happened in the past few years? Well, he gets rid of Allardyce and brings home Kevin Kegan but things go bad when Wise comes in and starts interfering. Ashley then sells Milner despite assurances to the manager that he would be staying. Keegan then leaves and Newcastles bring in none other that Joe Fucking Kinnear. Massive demonstrations are short lived and everyone forgets very quickly. After Kinnear has another heart attack, Houghton takes over again till Shearer is sweet talked into the manager's job but it's not good enough and we go down. This may have been a plot by Ashley to offload the bigger earners. That's what happens but he goes back on his word about giving Shearer the job. People got pissed off and gates were down about 10,000. During this time, as if relegation is not enough, he changes the name of our beloved ground and expects us all to still go to the games. However, out of all this despair, there was a silver lining. Chris Houghton, who became the manager by default, blows everyone away by getting us promotion first time of asking and with time to spare.


When promotion came, people ceased being angry with Cashley until he made yet another howler by getting rid of the man who put up with his crap for so long and at the same time managed to strengthen the club's financial position. Cashley brings in a man with a hole up his arse, large enough for Ashley's hand to fit right up to the neck. The first garbled crap that comes out of Pardew's puppet mouth is that Carroll will not be sold as it was part of the terms of him joining NUFC. Hahahahaha what a load of bullshit. Pardew would have been told that Carroll was to go and that he would get a small amount to fuck around with. All he needed to do was to just tell the Geordies anything as they will believe him and even if they didn't, they would just forget in a couple of weeks.

Chris' sacking caused uproar on Tyneside and in football in general. Everyone had a renewed hatred for Ashley and Lameass but somehow the gate goes up even though our home form is terrible and Ashley has once again shat on us from a great height. So come on, try and convince me that Ashley wanted to keep Carroll. No chance, no fucking chance. He has been eyeing up this move since the Championship. His philosophy is not to copy Arsenal by nurturing young talent and build a great team. His philosophy is, "I fucked up and I want my money back and while I do this I am going to fuck every Geordie up the arse as hard as I possibly can and as many times as I can".

So please, do us all a favour. No more petitions, no more bedsheets and no more half arsed protests outside St James' Park. Just stop going; that will hurt Cashley the most.

He will not stop so someone has to.

Spurned Chances

Spurs came to St James' Park with high expectations but left feeling lucky they got the point. After a miserable first half, Newcastle came out to show 'Arry and his boys just how to play football. A brilliant game had both sides playing open football with Newcastle having the better of the play. It was us who took the lead with a well deserved goal from birthday boy and man of the match Fabricio "I want curly hair too" Coloccini. Again Barton played a brilliant and gave Ashley and co a headache about a new contract and how much he really is worth. Late in the game however, Newcastle's defence was again breached in injury time and Spurs went away from the North East with a point.

Mackems Get Lucky

So Newcastle made the short journey to the nearby shanty town called Sunderland on Sunday in anticipation of the return leg of the first game that saw Newcastle rip apart their local rivals and humiliate both fans and players alike. Let's also not forget Steve Bruce, who apparently had a song waiting to be played if, and a big if, Sunderland were to beat us.

Steve Bruce didn't get that song played and he was lucky he got the draw - a last minute deflection that beat Harper and the mackem that deflected it. He knew nothing of the ball coming to him and did not in any way, shape or form use his body to get on the end of it. It fell to him kindly and bounced off him kindly and took the shine off our performance and season. Oh, how good would it have been to silence those wannabe top dogs in the North East? Even when we were in a league below, we were the bigger, better club, hands down.

This draw therefore took a little of the shine off what could have been a great season. By that I mean if we had kept the man who got us back into the Premiership and also led us to beat the mackems resoundingly. If Chris was still our manager maybe we would have beat the mackenms again. In fact, I am sure we would have. However, Pardew could not get the Derby win although Newcastle took them apart again and really should have scored more than one. Ameobi had a great chance early on and he does loves scoring against the underdogs we call mackems. He sits at level pegging with the greatest Geordie of all time, Jackie Milburn, for the most derby goals. If he had gotten one in on Sunday, he would have gone on to be the highest scorer against Sunderland in the famous Black n White shirt. Instead, the scoring was again left to the funky chicken man (does anyone know why he does this? Please leave a comment). Yes, Nolan back heeled a Shola header into the back of the mackem's net and took his tally to 4 against them. Long may that continue.

A point against our local rivals is not good enough though especially when they sit 5 points above us, although we have a game in hand away at Birmingham. The gap could have been two points with us going into our next fixture with an eye on them and a bloody good chance of knocking them down a peg.

The display was fantastic by all our players but again, Joey Barton was brilliant. He had the crowd on his back again which perhaps does spur him on week in, week out. Barton not only had the boos but he received a few licks, just like in any derby. He didn't complain though but picked himself up and got on with it and put in a match winning performance. Steve Bruce had a dig at him for going down too often; perhaps he should have a go at his players instead for their lack of football. If they had not been picking Barton out for rough treatment, maybe we would have gone on to win. Still, roughed up or not, Joey thrives in adversity and I am sure he will come back to slap Brucey in the chops for his ridiculous comments.

Finally, a point to make about the underdogs and their fans who understandably get carried away. They have been living Newcastle's shadow for their entire existence and when we went down they must have thought it was their time. Things didn't pan out the way they thought though, eh. We went down, got rid of our crap, came straight back up and dissolved any thoughts and hopes the red and white of Sunderland may have of being the top team in the North East. It was all too apparent when they scored the equaliser. They went crazy. It was in the last minute but it was only for a draw but after the humiliating 5-1 drubbing given out by the bigger and better rivals, you would have thought their celebration of a very lucky and late equaliser after being totally dominated at their ground for 90 minutes, would be more subdued. They showed their true colours then and thought a lucky goal at the end to get one point from six and an aggregate of 6-2 to Tyneside was all fine. Well, I think they should crawl back under the stone they came from and next time they open their mouth about North East football, they should stop and think very, very, carefully. That is if they are capable of this as we all know what they are like in the ghetto.

HIGHLIGHTS

Picture source http://www.foxsports.com

FA Cup 3rd round

Stevenage 3-1 Newcastle

Need I say more, yes

Pardew and ashey get the hell out of our club

Bentley on the way to Newcastle?

David Bentley looks set to join us from Spurs once the two clubs can settle a fee. It looks like Spurs wheeler dealer Redknapp wanted to use Bentley as a carrot for Andy Carroll but Cashley has apparently opted out of selling Carroll and instead wants to improve or at least add to the current squad. Bentley was a decent player for Blackburn before he left for Spurs but has shown very little since he has been in London and this sounds very much like a certain Damien Duff. He came to Tyneside with high expectations but proved only that he was well passed his best in his Blackburn days. I am not sure about Bentley. I think Spurs just want him off the wage list so will sell for cheap and will not be in a position to command a great deal (in comparison) in wages. I can't see him setting the place on fire but he can't be worse than Routledge has been for us.



I hope I am wrong and he is able to supply the crosses for Andy Carroll, Shola, Best and Ranger but he must be very low on confidence at the moment. At 26, he is young and could be worth the gamble as he would surely not lose value as much as certain South Americans. Is a winger what we need at the moment with Gutierrez playing his best football since he signed for us, Ben Arfa coming back, Joey Barton playing out his skin week in week out, not to mention Gosling coming back? I would be in the market for a right back or a quick centre forward who can play off Carroll etc. Gosling has got the ability to play right back but is that where we want the lad to play? It's looking pretty congested out on the wings and in midfield in general.

Leon Fest

Leon Best made his first Premiership tonight in the absence of Andy Carroll and Shola Ameobi. Both players, out injured, would be watching this game with mixed emotions; on the one hand happy for the lad to bag a hat trick, but on the other also thinking about their starting places. Both Lovenkrands and Best got goals tonight along with Nolan who has not seen a goal in a few games. These players have stepped up to the mark and took the initiative which has resulted in a goal or threes apiece, with Leon's performance worthy of a man of the match award, even without the hat-trick. His movement, touch and general desire were spot on tonight but they have to be as not many chances have come his way this season. This performance has definitely lifted his profile and sent out a message. As always, Joey Barton was class out on the right. He fed balls in all night and good ones at that. His performances are getting better and he is a calm but committed player.

Two worries from last night's game came with the two injuries. Steven Taylor, just back from god knows how many injuries, did not come out for the second half and Gutierrez was hauled off with an injury. With the likes of Gosling back in full training and Ben Arfa not far behind, things are looking good and competition for places is hot as everyone is playing well. Morale at the club could really not be better as the players are visibly good friends - long may this continue. West Ham were nowhere near us again and seem to be a team we take points from for fun. That won't be for long though as they look doomed for the Championship where Sheffield United wait patiently to give them a good old hiding, like the one we gave them last night. Scotty Parker was up to his old tricks tonight churning up the turf doing his circle thing. He had a shot at goal but his head was soon down as he was given a lesson in how to play center midfield by Cheik Tiote.

West Ham, funnily enough, started out by coming out fighting and looked like they would give us a decent game. The same thing happened at the Boleyn; we got on top of them, they could not handle it and Newcastle were all over them like England playing the Aussies in the Ashes (how long is it since the Aussies had the Ashes now, by the way?).

So three goals for Best must give him the confidence to come in for the FA Cup game at Stevenage. Andy Carroll is not playing the FA Cup match but is 50/50 for the away trip down the road to the ghetto. He will be banging on the door to play in that but so will Carroll and Shola, who has a knack of scoring against the unwashed. Ranger came on for Best last night as he picked up a knock and had a very good chance to bag one and make it six. However, he opted to use his right foot instead of sweeping it in with his left. His feet were in a terrible position and the ball went embarrassingly wide. He made another good chance later on but nobody got in the box to support and his good work went up in smoke. There was also a first Premiership start for fresh face Ferguson too. He looked comfortable but this was the game to blood a young lad as West Ham had nothing. A long, long trip back to East London for the Cockneys for a jellied eel supper.

Highlights

Picture Source http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk

Wigan Kebab Sells Out But the JW is Empty

Wigan kebabs must have been sold out in Wigan on Sunday as 5000 Geordies watched Newcastle United take a resilient Wigan apart. The Geordies don't fail to support the lads wherever or whenever; they are indeed the 12th man and a happy bunch at that.

With Andy Carroll in the news again this week, for football reasons this time, Newcastle had some worrying to do with good old Shola coming in to replace him. Shola has been ok these last couple of years though and I reckon we should hang on to him even if it's just to put him on against the Mackems. Well, he came in and within seconds had the goal at his mercy but you know Shola. He got his head on the end of a magnificent cross but put it the wrong side of the cross bar. Not long passed before Shola was given another chance and this time he made no mistake planting the ball into the back of the net. Newcastle played well throughout the match with only Nolan struggling but big performances from Tiote, Coloccini and Barton helped Newcastle back to winning ways. Peter Lovenkrands was back in the starting 11 and gave as good a performance as we have seen from him this season. However that was not difficult to achieve. He looked sharp and able, put in a good shift and worked for the good of the team, which is or was the Houghton ethic, and looks to be Pardew's way of playing thing as he does not want to upset the balance or the good work already done.

With Houghton now almost forgotten Pardew is keeping a low profile but is picking up praise which should still land at Houghtons door

With Houghton now almost forgotten, Pardew is keeping a low profile but is picking up praise which should still land at Houghton's door. That said we have been playing good football and it was only the Spurs game where we seemed to be overrun. Rumours are again circling like vultures around St James' park and some of them are claiming Carroll's exit to wannabe big boys Spurs, who seem to be linked with any decent player these days. United have issued a hands off warning to any potential suitors and it seems we are in the market for the right reasons but who knows what that fatty will do next.




Newcastle left Wigan with nothing over the last few years but today the drive and commitment was there to see and we came home with the points to take us back into the top half of the table. It was lucky that Insomnia had seen red in Wigan's previous game against Arsenal, where they came back from 0-2 down to get a point. Their tails high, and a good record against us had the commentators (if that's what you can call them) calling for our head. Insomnia missing the game was to our advantage as he is their best player and has two goals against us, his old club, this season.